I received this question last week, so i’ll address it today. First off, this question is very subjective because each person is different, and has limits to how long they are willing to wait for anything. Secondly, if you are a woman that ultimately wants to be married, I believe it’s incumbent upon you to share your expectation with whomever you are dating as you guys are getting to know one another, because it’s hard to be disappointed with someone with whom you’ve not shared your expectations. Understand that not all men are looking for a wife, but rather some are just looking for women with whom they can have casual sex.
You as a woman sets the tone for the relationship according to how fast you allow things to progress sexually and emotionally, and if you give too much too soon, you may find yourself disappointed. If I begin working for, and give my all to a company that has not yet agreed to hire me, not only are they not obligated to compensate me, but I can hardly be upset with that company, I would have to take personal responsibility for not having an agreement in place before I began to pour my all into a fruitless situation. Likewise you can only blame yourself for giving the most sacred parts of yourself, and pouring years of your life and time into a situation without being engaged and having an understanding that ultimately this man is going to marry you. When a man recognizes that he can live without you, but makes a conscious decision that he doesn’t want to, then he will take the steps to advance the relationship to the next level.
So to answer the question of how long is too long to wait for an engagement, I would think that if I’m a man who is looking to be married, then for me if I’ve been dating you exclusively for 2-3 years, and I’ve prayed and sought God’s counsel concerning you, and you’ve proven to me that you are wife material, then it’s a no brainer that for me it’s time to progress the relationship to the next level. That’s my perspective, what’s yours?